I look for you

I look for you
in every station of this city of yours.
Restlessly, randomly, i look about.
Till I wear myself out

Those are the moments,
when I look within.

I know by heart your address;
Your neighbour's daughters name,
The make of the car you want to buy,
But, I can't find you.

You, have escaped my universe
My streets are bare
my cafes empty
and your name,
Your heartening lovely name,
refuses to take form on my tongue..

It is time that I have lost you to.
Moments and shadows,
have taken you away

I could go on living ofcourse.
Move on to parallel cities,
serial people..

But I stay rooted.
And seek you desperately.
Because I can't do otherwise.
because I am afraid,
That I lost myself
the day I lost you

Words and us (Part I)

It is what you said the other day...
About adjustment
Why are sacrifice, adjustment, morality important?
Those drab yellowed greyish words;
that take up more space than you and me
They stifle, they encroach
they land on you with a thud
flatten the life in you...

And yet they are important
They make you upright citizens
Pillars of the society.

While we dwell on this, lets talk about life.
My life should not be boxy I know
But father said it shouldn't be a wave either;

To see or not to see

Is it necessary that you should be able to see what lies ahead,..not vividly ofcourse..but atleast a nebulous outline of it? I used to think it was. But then there's something wrong with me because I can see nothing. I am having difficulty in figuring out what is it that I truly want to do. This reminds me of something Camus wrote about how you wouldnt live if you continued to search for the meaning of life. This makes me wary. Yet I can't get this confusion out of my head.

I can't see what lies ahead of me
No gut feeling
No senses reeling
Just a languid blank.
I wonder what this is about,
I am shrouded by a nebula of doubt.

A slipper in the mud

Yesterday I found
A small slipper in the mud
a child's forgotten slipper
Desolate...abandoned

I felt its grief.

Empty houses, lost knick-knacks..
I feel their fatalism as my own
None, and nothing
that once knew love,
Must let be deserted

Innocence must never be forsaken
Life's promise mustn't be put out
The slipper must be returned
to the tiny foot of its owner.